What works to build up your teen’s resilience? Each family is different!
One of our great moms sent me a question recently: How does UUism respond to kids’ big questions about war, death, injustice?
Such things can’t always be summarized – or even articulated sometimes! – but here’s my impression.
- Before there are ever Big Questions, build up the relationship of trust about everyday questions. Will you or won’t you take their questions seriously? Will you respond with facts? Or with a story? What is your style?
- Double-check what your child wants to know. Is a question about death asking about consciousness? souls? decomposition? or how to mourn? “I think you’re asking X, did i get that right?” is a very respectful and useful way to suss out the correct meaning.
- Wrestle beforehand with walking the land between two unhelpful parenting extremes: dictating what a child may express as their own beliefs, teaching them to not inquire of their own intuition, or leaving the field completely unguided, allowing a charismatic cultist to fill the void. My path has often been “Here’s what I’ve heard, here’s what I’ve considered, this is what I’ve concluded for now.”
- I use the Six Sources as a way to explore
- acknowledging that our own sense of transcending mystery and wonder takes precedence,
- then inquire of different faith traditions, the findings of science, and admirable people for what wisdom has already been articulated,
- finally passing those other thoughts back through the filter of the first source – my own inner wisdom and connection to the mystery.
- And then I take it right back to my kids. Check their spot step on the path of spiritual development and decide is it time to model what your family believe and does (preschoolers)? Time to tell a story and ask questions so that they wrestle with and articulate their own ideas (elementary school)?
- Don’t forget – model “That’s where I am right now – I might have a better understanding later.”
That’s what UUism says – and that’s where I am right now – I might have a better understanding later.
I love finding easy kid-friendlfy (and therefore Sparrow-friendly) creative endeavors. Here’s the latest about travel-journaling with map-making!
It’s back to basics of parenting this week – I’m re-reading Richard Louv’s Last Child in the Woods.
I have admired Maria Montessori’s philosophy since I began learning about it early in my career, and just ran across a short article on the core of her thoughts. I rather hate the title of the article, but let’s blame that on the writer trying to make his article click-bait-worthy. Please replace in your mind the word “Commandments” with “Reminders” and the words “the Perfect Parent” with “a More Mindful Parent”. Enjoy, friends.
I have always wanted to incorporate the image of the Jedi knights into how I teach and approach children, yet I struggled with the Star Wars’ canon idea that one must let go of emotion to use the Force. that was counterintuitive to me. Fortunately, I found this delightful article to share with everyone, in which the author goes beyond the basic movie idea (as well as talking about its limitations).
In my current project to read up on lifelong prosocial learning, I came across this article you might enjoy, affirming that we can gain insights, develop our values, and strengthen ethical decision making for decades after childhood – I’m excited for the 100-year longitudinal studies of my dreams!
I love wandering around this web site. Their methodology is quite rigorous.
Great reminders to our parents of small ones: